The Breakdown: Tim Te-bored: The douche side of prayer (Or, Chill Your Ego, Yahweh)

by Elisha.K

When you Google Tim Tebow, the first result is his website. The second is of course his Wikipedia page. This is not strange, but what I saw made me make a face that is usually proceeded by “Really? Really? Uuuugh.” I would have said these aloud, but everyone is concentrating on the game right now.


John 3:16 thou shalt not be a pretentious doucher


John 3:16 states “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, and whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” 

I have a lot of issues with Mr. Tebow. But let me make this clear: He is just a byproduct of our religious society. I make no assumptions about his nature. He could be a bastard or he could be a very nice young man. I just know that he brings to the forefront some serious problems about a religion seeped society.


You don’t have to be a brain surgeon.

Say you needed a plumber. Pipes burst, water everywhere, children crying and mass chaos inside your house. You would call a plumber. Yet, if you are looking for religious advice, you could ask absolutely freakin’ any religious person. Priests have to go to seminary, but I could go become an ordained minister right now if I wanted to. So, why is it that public figures often become this go-to on religion and from that become some sort of moral authority? It’s because simply, they are not dealing with facts. Everything about religions is open to interpretation so anyone could be correct. Tim Tebow could right just as much as Rick Perry could be right. And this is why neither are. This is what makes it faith and not fact and therefore can be dismissed as any sort of reasonable explanation.

God, please don't let my makeup run



Tebow prays as much as he can. Before, after, during a game and who knows how often during his day to day life. He sings gospels during practice and he generally is incredibly in your face with his faith. Or at least, he had allowed the media to bring it to the forefront. He sees himself as a hero, a idol for young children. That is—young, Christian children. The heavy focus on Tebow’s faith is such a positive light just enforces the blindness in this country. This inability for those of the Christian faith to see that they aren’t the only faith in this country and they are not as entitled as they think they are. Slowly, people are starting to ask ‘What if Tebow was Muslim?’ or ‘What if Tebow was Jewish?’ but I want to ask….’What if Tom Brady was atheist?”

I’m not of such atheist victim mentality to say that they’d call him evil, the devil and villify him at every turn. I’m saying he’d be famous what he’s good for; football. And that’s the way it should be.


Another thing he brings to light is what I keep saying about prayer. The logic behind it is so egotistical and entirely self serving. Tim Tebow prays to win the game, or at least, that’s what I have to believe seeing as he takes a knee before he begins to play. I’m doubting that he’s playing for peace in Syria, even though that’s exactly what you should pray for if you’re going to waste your time anyway. I was always taught all through church that your prayers are supposed to be selfless, and no bargaining. That’s what I remember. Tebow, in my eyes, is quite the egomaniac. He’s famous because he prays to win and does, everyone think it’s cute and amazing. It’s neither, but it is telling. It’s telling of the self-centered nature that is inherent in religion. It’s what happens when you follow the teachings of an egotistical God. God sometimes reminds me of one of those people that makes sure everyone knows they give to charity. (John 3:16)


When it all comes down to it, Tim Tebow could be a good man. He is fine in his craft and sport, and he is a Christian. That last part means nothing, it’s like saying ‘..and a brunette’. But in our country in these times, it automatically means he is infallible. That he is a good man. Saying someone is Christian only means one thing: They are someone who believes in an ancient, dogmatic faith centered around a Triune God, saints, and miracles.